Tuesday, July 3, 2018

Drop it Like it's Hot: Sub Drop

Sub drop. The boogie man of the bottoming world. Everyone warns you about it. Everyone is concerned about it. Cries of aftercare! ring into the night for fear of it. 

Drop really has never been much of an issue for me. I deal with chronic depression anyway, so I'm not sure how I would distinguish drop from one of my typical down days, aside from proximity to a play session. However, since masochism is a natural antidepressant for me, kink play generally pulls me out of an emotional low point by stimulating the chemicals my brain doesn't generally produce. 

I can only recall a couple times I've actually dropped. It requires a certain degree of intensity in a scene and a specific kind of connection with the top. Typically a sexual or romantic, connection. Usually both, because the two tend to go hand in hand for me. 

The hardest drop I've experience happened after playing with a former lover. The scene itself was the most intense I'd experienced up to that point, and the combination of that level of intensity, coupled with the fact that I was still in love with him, and the lack of proper aftercare triggered a several month depressive episode in me. The drop itself lasted a few days, and was rather taxing. I cried...a lot. 

I can only vaguely remember one other time, and that had more to do with the type of play that was involved. I had been rubbed down with a large chunk of ice, which caused a sort of physical shock reaction.

Drop isn't something I generally worry about because I don't go into subspace. Subspace seems to be a primary trigger of most drops from what I hear. I think I might have hit subspace before, but I'm not entirely sure. A lot of elements are required for me to go into an altered headspace. It's not something that happens with a platonic play partner, because the psychological aspects of a scene are missing, and that is my space trigger. 

Essentially, I believe I can only achieve that state with a dominant with whom I am both romantically and sexually involved. Without that degree of intimacy and emotional vulnerability, as well as the dominant aspect, kink play is more akin to a violent massage. Which produces endorphins, yes, but doesn't have quite the same effect. 

And even with those elements in place, I would imagine that the intensity of the scene would still need to be pretty high for me to go there. Typically this would be achieved through a fear response, or a high enough degree of pain to produce tears. 

Basically, if I ain't cryin', I probably ain't flyin'.

But, the fact that need all that to even get to that space makes me a fairly low maintenance bottom. Aftercare isn't something I typically need or necessarily desire. With a partner, or someone I'm really comfortable with, aftercare is great. But because I don't drop, it's not something I have to have, and no one has to worry about something bad happening if I don't get it. 



  1. I think i might only have experienced once myself, as you said, after a very very intense session and it was underscored by having to come home to an empty house (we don't live together).

    Interesting thoughts. I enjoyed reading.

  2. I enjoyed reading this blog-post. I can imagine in what you feel. I'm also a sub and sometimes my subdorp is very heavy. Interesting thoughts :-)

    enrico, slave of Mistress Kate – Netherlands