Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Simple Negotiator

Hold onto your pearls, fraggles and sneetches, because my perspective on negotiations is rather...laissez faire, with both relationships and play partners. I'm not big on formality. Contracts have never been a thing I've had any desire to deal with.

I'm pretty amenable when it comes to negotiating. I toss out my list of nos, and anything else is pretty much fair game to try. If I encounter something I don't like or can't stand, I'll bring it up at the time. No harm no foul. I don't like to direct a scene too much, because I like to experience the style of the person topping me. You do you, and I'll bitch if and when I have a problem.

With relationships, I've never been that elaborate either. Again, I have my limit list, but I tend to gravitate towards the TPE/slave end of the spectrum. So, I'll go along with most things that don't cross my moral or psychological lines. I'm a chameleon s-type. I adapt to whatever is needed of me. I'm happy following the Captain's lead. I just usually ask that I be warned before something particularly unusual or taxing.

cough DON'T RIM SOMEONE WITHOUT ASKING OR WARNING THEM FOR FUCK'S SAKE. cough

Usually I don't even think about safe words. I'm more likely to just express the problem I'm having at the time. I don't tend to go nonverbal very often. It's easier for me to grab the problem than a random word, but if the top is more comfortable with having one, I just say the streetlight system, but I've yet to actually use a safe word up to this point.

I can't account for every thing and I don't try to. Relationships are fluid. I figure in a good relationship, both parties are going to work to make things run smoothly. So, I've never felt the need to employ written negotiations. I just prefer to let things develop organically.

In a relationship, I just say "tell me what you want from me" and I will do my damnedest to figure out how to do that. If I can't, we'll talk about it.

With the right person, things just fall into place for me. I go with my gut. My gut is usually correct.

For being an anxiety-ridden mess, I'm pretty chill about negotiations.

My advice? Listen to your instincts. They can tell you a lot.

2 comments:

  1. hello, i just found your blog, and have read a couple of posts. i look forward to coming by again when i have a little more time. I definitely enjoy your topics and reading your views!

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    1. Thanks! I'm glad you like it. I'm not as active as I used to be, but I have a few years worth of archives.

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