Thursday, May 4, 2017

Factory Defect

One of the recurring features of my erotica, seems to be a scene that includes cunnilingus. Prior to writing these scenes, I'd only experienced the act personally once, and it wasn't good. Dude bit me...hard. Ow. But, I have a pretty decent imagination, so I could craft an oral sex scene capable of turning myself on. I'm actually pretty proud of those scenes. They're typically the first sexual scenes in my stories as I'm a bit of a foreplay whore and it takes me forever to develop the plot to full on intercourse.

I've since discovered in the last several months, that I don't actually like receiving oral sex. I've long imagined what it would feel like to experience it with someone who actually knew what they were doing. I finally got around to doing just that and...I hated it. It only happened a few times, but each time, it was uncomfortable and sometimes painful.

I had trouble coming to grips with this. I thought there was something wrong with me. It was something I was supposed to enjoy. A lot of women talk about how they get mad if a man refuses to reciprocate on oral sex. I felt bad that my partner was trying to do something to please me and all I wanted was for it to stop. I didn't say that though. I didn't want to deprive him of his pleasure.

I think my body must be weird. My clitoris is pretty deep set anyway, so having to be parted to get to it is very uncomfortable. I'm also not terribly fond of pinpoint stimulation. I can't stand the tiny finger-shaped bullets because of this. I prefer broader coverage.

I've been assured by others that I'm not defective because I don't like it. I've seen plenty of women online claim they hate it, but I still feel like it's something I'm supposed to enjoy. For many it's the fastest way to orgasm. For me, it's never going to happen. I can't blame my partner. I'm sure on anyone else, it would have been a fantastic experience, it just doesn't seem to be a form of stimulation that works for me. I never addressed the subject with him because I didn't want to make him feel bad.

I'll probably still write the scenes in my stories. They're always nice. I just probably won't be requesting the activity in future relationships. I'm perfectly okay without it.