Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Spirituality & M/s

It was recently asked in one of the M/s forums I frequent what role spirituality (or aspirituality) plays in your M/s relationships. I find this a somewhat poignant topic, given my recent studies and some recent conversations around the topic of the mixture of religion and kink.

At a Valentine's party, those in attendance were discussing the upcoming event the 1st Annual Spring Fling Leather-Fest. Aside from my incompatibility with Leather culture in general, I was also uncomfortable with the seemingly non-specific pagan themes throughout the description of the event. I'm not entirely comfortable mixing religion with kink, particularly in a group setting as not everyone at the event is going to be of that particular faith. I would not be comfortable at that event. I would feel largely out of place due to spiritual and philosophical differences.

The hostess of the party made the comment that kink was almost a kind of religion itself. I can see where this parallel makes sense. There are rules, congregations, fellowship, rituals, etc. I don't necessarily agree with that perspective though.

Kink is not religion for me. My concept of my own personal religion centers around theism, which is absent from BDSM. There's no deity, so it doesn't quite click in that way for me. I do think BDSM, particularly through the lens of power exchange can be an expression of my beliefs, however.

It's kind of a complicated situation. I consider myself Christian, although more spiritually than religiously speaking. I like to say I'm bad at it, because I don't participate in most of the typical ritual, I don't have an easily definable belief system, and I'm just generally not living up to the standards I feel I should be. I was raised in a Baptist church, but I don't necessarily identify with that or any other doctrine. My roommate says I'm more Kierkegaardian based on the way I've described it to her, but I'm not familiar enough with Kierkegaard's work to confidently claim such a label. I do feel that my spiritual education was lacking. I'm not satisfied with the state of my faith right now, so I'm attempting reeducate myself using styles that work for me.

It's an individual effort. My owner is pagan. Wiccan, more specifically, although, I think he would also call himself more spiritual than religious. He's not exactly dancing naked in the woods every Friday night. We don't tend to discuss religion much. I might mention things in passing that I might be doing that pertain to religion, but he rarely if ever mentions his own faith at all. We're in that comfortable place where we don't interfere with each other's spiritual path. He has no interest in changing my faith or making me participate in rituals that conflict with my faith and I'm glad for that.

I do feel that I draw inspiration and motivation from my faith for my service to him. Not in that I worship him. I've never been comfortable with that word directed at people. I don't worship him and I never will. He's a human, just like me. Fallible. Flawed. Beloved, but not divine.

Even so, I feel like my desires for power exchange have intertwined with my faith throughout my life. I spent a lot of time as a teenager studying passages on marriage, obedience, and discipline. They tend to be the passages I remember the best. I'm hoping that my studies will help strengthen this foundation as well as my faith overall and improve my service.

I don't know that the methods are something Daddy will appreciate or care about, but I'm sure the results will benefit us both.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked


  1. There are some interesting thoughts in here that I would further want to explore, but there's one thing I absolutely agree on: kink is not religion.

    Rebel xox

  2. I relate to your spiritual analogy rather than religon. Very interesting and thought provoking piece. Thank you for sharing.

    Velvet x

    1. Thanks. I often hesitate to talk about religion and spirituality here, but it's a topic I find very interesting myself. :)