Monday, March 28, 2016

Captive Audience: Writing Dubious Consent Fantasy

I originally went into this intending to write about consensual non-consent (CNC) in fantasy, or rather, in the fantasy romance/erotica that I write, but then I realized that I don't actually write CNC fiction. See, the key word in consensual non-consent is the "consensual" bit, and explicit consent is largely absent from my romance, particularly the pieces I have published here on the blog.

There are a number of reasons for this, but I suppose the most prominent is that I have a force fetish. That's what I like. That's what I fantasize about, and my number one rule for writing fantasies for this blog is that if I'm not into it, there's no point in writing it. I'm actually fairly surprised that I haven't gotten any backlash for the distinct lack of consent, in fact, the deliberate rejection of it, in Unmasked. I'm super happy that it's been so well-received, but I truly expected some negative feedback on the consent front.

While perusing the smut on Amazon Kindle, I came across the term "dubious consent" for some erotica that has similar elements to mine. I kind of like the term. It fits. There's no explicit consent in Unmasked, but so far, there's not really any denial of consent on Conna's part. Not to say that won't happen in the future. It will, but I'm sure if you've read any of it, you know how that's going to go.

I think there's a way to write non-consent erotica in a way that doesn't make everyone uncomfortable. I think I've struck that balance with Unmasked. It makes sense for the story in a way that enthusiastic consent never would. At least, not at this point in the narrative.

You see, I have a great love of the captive fantasy. It is the foundation of nearly all of my romance endeavors. It's the perfect framework for the non-consent fetish. It is a situation, much like non-consensual slavery, where consent makes no sense as a concept. Rodrick does not ask for consent because he doesn't need it. Constantina is literally his property. He doesn't need her consent. It doesn't fit his character nor the context of the story.

I think perhaps the genre is also a key element to making non-consent feel right for a story. If you place the story in a time or place that doesn't center around the philosophy of enthusiastic consent, then non-consent doesn't appear to be so uncomfortable. For instance, setting the story in a fantasy world where you can build your own culture with its own rules makes it a lot easier to include otherwise socially unacceptable concepts.

Where this both works and doesn't work is Gor. I know, I know, a lot of people don't like Gor, but it does contain a great deal of non-consent. This works in part because of the framework of slavery. You don't expect chattel slaves to have consent. It makes sense for the culture in which the story exists. Where it doesn't work is the inclusion of Tarl and the concept of the "Earth morality." Equality, liberty, abhorence for slavery, and appreciation for powerful females are concepts that are introduced through the character of Tarl. Because we know these concepts exist in this world, it is harder to accept the morality of Gor and the fact that Tarl rejects our prized ideals for this seemingly barbaric philosophy.

I think the modern morality and setting is also why a lot of Fifty Shades of Grey just does not work for me. Because the story takes place in the modern world where consent is such a huge part of BDSM, things that Christian does come across as super skeevy. Things I would readily accept in a story that takes place in another setting, say the middle ages or some fantasy world, make me angry in this narrative because I expect the characters to hold a modern worldview that I would not expect of other characters.

Creating the right characters has a large impact on making this fantasy work as well, at least, for me. I try to create characters whose actions make sense for the situation and the story. Rodrick, while forceful, is not cruel. He takes what he believes is his right to take, but there is an affection there as well. Nothing he does is out of malice and he truly desires for Constantina to derive pleasure from their dynamic.

Constantina behaves in a way that makes sense for a captive. She's not a wholly docile character. She resists, however small those rebellions may be. She is confused about her new experiences and about whether she should be enjoying these things in this situation. There is an inner conflict there that I think is essential to a character that is confronted with something they are taught to resist but where compliance is not an unpleasant task. Constantina mentions that being delivered into Rodrick's hands is simply trading one cage for another, but her captivity with Rodrick allows for a previously unknown freedom. This is the difference between the somewhat abusive captivity she comes from
and the rule of Rodrick.

I don't think I'm alone in the love of the captive fantasy. I definitely plan to continue to write it. It's the basis of most of my personal fantasies and it's really fun to write. I hope my readers will continue to follow me on these adventures of captives and slaves because they make me happy. Sure, they don't follow any of those fancy acronyms you see in the lifestyle today, but, perhaps, that's what makes them interesting. There's a little bit of forbidden fruit that tastes oh so delicious.

Wicked Wednesday

Saturday, March 19, 2016

A Roll in the Clover

Off on another sexy adventure. I might have to make a series of these. Sex Toys Gone Wild. 

Sinful Sunday

Friday, March 18, 2016

e[Lust] #80

Elust 80 Penny's Dirty Thoughts
Photo courtesy of Penny's Dirty Thoughts

Welcome to Elust #80 -

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you're looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it'll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #81 Start with the rules, come back April 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!


~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Something Meaningful
The debate goes on

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

No Take Backsies: Sexual "Politeness"
THE Process

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*

He's not a Tumblr Dom
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!


Erotic Non-Fiction

She Strips The Boundaries Away The Black Bra
He enjoyed Playing with My Shoes
One... two... ménage à trois!
Doing Mt. Shasta
What’s Behind that First Strike…
How To Top Off Valentine Weekend Lovemaking
Watching Cunnilingus
Scened All Night
Spoiled in the Sun
The Tennent
01/14 Session With Mistress Claire & Others
THREESOME HEAVEN – extreme sensations
The neighbours don't learn my name

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

I Don't Date on the First Sex
Meat market

Erotic Fiction

Who’s the Boss? (She is)
A Little Distraction
Let Me Share
Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies...
a bit of filth
Original Sin

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

My Day of Punishments Part 1
Filthy girl
Kink Without Sex: What Happens After Orgasms
Dominant roots
Using Our D/s to Get Through Stress

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

First Times
The number of the beast...
Sometimes Love is Not a Pie
Looking deep through reflection
Pussy Pics
So I Was Thinking


A Night with Zombies – Cinema l’Amour
ELust Site Badge

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Nary a Needle

Oh, needles, shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art the bane of my existence.
Thou art sharp and terrifying,
and giveth me images of pricking my eye.

I remember thee in the years of my youth
The horrid shadow that loomed o'er the physic's door.
Thou didst pierce my arm with vile potions,
bringing tears, and maternal bribery.

My maiden years saw thy use for darker pursuits,
the point of a pin serving in place of a blade,
to scratch away at anguish with solid pain.
Always a scratch. Never a prick.

Thou art a tool of pleasure now.
But not for me. Never for me.
I cannot bear to watch thy use,
To see thee pierce through supple flesh.

I see thee in the films of fright and hide my face,
for I always envision thy thorny tip
finding thy way into my eye.
Thou shalt ne'er make me do aught but shudder.

For reals though, fuck needles.

Saturday, March 12, 2016

Rockin' with the Rhythm of the Rain

This is my newest toy, a glass piece about 1.5 inches in girth. I decided to play with the camera on my new phone. I think I'm rather happy with the results.

Sinful Sunday

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Spirituality & M/s

It was recently asked in one of the M/s forums I frequent what role spirituality (or aspirituality) plays in your M/s relationships. I find this a somewhat poignant topic, given my recent studies and some recent conversations around the topic of the mixture of religion and kink.

At a Valentine's party, those in attendance were discussing the upcoming event the 1st Annual Spring Fling Leather-Fest. Aside from my incompatibility with Leather culture in general, I was also uncomfortable with the seemingly non-specific pagan themes throughout the description of the event. I'm not entirely comfortable mixing religion with kink, particularly in a group setting as not everyone at the event is going to be of that particular faith. I would not be comfortable at that event. I would feel largely out of place due to spiritual and philosophical differences.

The hostess of the party made the comment that kink was almost a kind of religion itself. I can see where this parallel makes sense. There are rules, congregations, fellowship, rituals, etc. I don't necessarily agree with that perspective though.

Kink is not religion for me. My concept of my own personal religion centers around theism, which is absent from BDSM. There's no deity, so it doesn't quite click in that way for me. I do think BDSM, particularly through the lens of power exchange can be an expression of my beliefs, however.

It's kind of a complicated situation. I consider myself Christian, although more spiritually than religiously speaking. I like to say I'm bad at it, because I don't participate in most of the typical ritual, I don't have an easily definable belief system, and I'm just generally not living up to the standards I feel I should be. I was raised in a Baptist church, but I don't necessarily identify with that or any other doctrine. My roommate says I'm more Kierkegaardian based on the way I've described it to her, but I'm not familiar enough with Kierkegaard's work to confidently claim such a label. I do feel that my spiritual education was lacking. I'm not satisfied with the state of my faith right now, so I'm attempting reeducate myself using styles that work for me.

It's an individual effort. My owner is pagan. Wiccan, more specifically, although, I think he would also call himself more spiritual than religious. He's not exactly dancing naked in the woods every Friday night. We don't tend to discuss religion much. I might mention things in passing that I might be doing that pertain to religion, but he rarely if ever mentions his own faith at all. We're in that comfortable place where we don't interfere with each other's spiritual path. He has no interest in changing my faith or making me participate in rituals that conflict with my faith and I'm glad for that.

I do feel that I draw inspiration and motivation from my faith for my service to him. Not in that I worship him. I've never been comfortable with that word directed at people. I don't worship him and I never will. He's a human, just like me. Fallible. Flawed. Beloved, but not divine.

Even so, I feel like my desires for power exchange have intertwined with my faith throughout my life. I spent a lot of time as a teenager studying passages on marriage, obedience, and discipline. They tend to be the passages I remember the best. I'm hoping that my studies will help strengthen this foundation as well as my faith overall and improve my service.

I don't know that the methods are something Daddy will appreciate or care about, but I'm sure the results will benefit us both.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked