Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Pocket Full of Horses

Since I started doing sex things about 5 years ago, I have purchased a whopping one box of condoms. It was a box of Trojan Her Pleasure condoms. I think there were 12 total in the package. Out of that twelve I only really have memories of using two of them, but we'll round up to 3 to account for any repressed memories given that it's been a handful of years since I've had sex. The rest of them eventually migrated into my toy bag. I think I finally threw them away sometime last year when I wanted to use the wallet I'd stuffed them in.

Well, I say the rest of them.
Image from
Trojan Product Page
At least one of them ended up in a purse, as I had taken it with me to a date with my ex. The date had resulted in some outdoor kinky stuff (in fucking January, I might add) but, disappointingly not in sexy times. Somewhere in the next couple months, I switched purses and that one ended up in my closet.

Now, this would be all fine and dandy, except over the course of my adolescence, I have had a habit of commandeering purses that my mother had been given but didn't like or just ones that were more my style than hers. And, well, sometimes, she repossessed them if I stopped carrying them.

So, I'm happily going along, exploring my kinky self, probably 6 months into being sexually active...well, if you could have called it active, without my parents knowing a thing about it. One night, I'm sitting in my dorm at college, piddling on the internet, when Mom messages me on Facebook to tell me she went in my closet and took one of her purses back. I instantly remember that there's a little horsey in one of the pockets.

This conversation ensued:

Mom: Was the big black purse with pockets on the side the one I bought in Tulsa?

Me: Does it have a sort of draw string at the top?

Mom: yes

Me: Then yes

Mom: I am going to use it until you want to use it again

Me: K. There's nothing in it, is there?

Mom: Well um, what is in it I will put it your drawer

Me: I was afraid of that.

Mom: Better safe than sorry.

When I got home that weekend, she wasn't there but dad was. I asked him if Mom had told him what she had found in my purse and if he knew where she put it.

His response? "Yes she did and no, I have no idea."

And that, ladies and gents, is how my parents found out I had lost my V-card.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked


  1. Your parents were very cool about it! That's great, but I can imagine how you must have felt ;)

    Rebel xox

    1. It was very much an "oh shit" moment. My ex was like "You should have said it was for just in case." Seriously, dude, my mother isn't stupid.

  2. Man, I'd have been mortified. Lucky that they were so good about it! My dad once found a vibrating dildo of mine. THAT was fun. Guh.

    1. I know my mother has seen several of my sex toys, but she kindly never mentions it. lol

  3. Sounds like your parents reacted in a pretty cool way. Good for them


    1. It was mostly mom I was worried about. When I was 15, my dad told me out of the blue one day that he figured, if I was going to have sex, that he couldn't do anything to stop me, so he wasn't going to worry about it. lol