Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Down the Tumblr Hole

Well, I've done it. I've fallen into the gaping abyss that is Tumblr. I had considered creating one to promote the blog, but I hadn't ever gotten around to it. Someone started following me on Twitter who posts those animated porn gifs, and I followed back because that's kind of the perfect porn for me. Bite-sized soundless clips. No weird moaning. No men saying stupid shit. I followed them back just for those.

I started noticing Tumblr tags in the corners of the gifs, so I decided to bumble my way onto the site for the many many porns. Fortunately, Foxy and Peach are Tumblr veterans and told me how to make the many porns show up in search results.

This was a poor idea on so many levels. Those little gifs eat the shit out of data, I've noticed, so I can't peruse them on my phone away from a wifi network. My piddling little data plan is not made for perving images that move. I've also been trapped in a constant state of really fucking horny since I started seeing the images in my twitter.

Which, okay, whatever, so my hitachi gets a workout. But I have a history of making what I consider poor decisions when I'm horny. You're there, you're crazed, and you're like I wanna do this and this and this and that! But once the orgasm is over, you kind of just want to hide under the covers and wallow in your shame.

Oh...that's just me?

Well, then.

There's also the problem of the sheer number of blow job gifs on the bdsm Tumblr accounts. I'm personally not much of a fan of the mouth hug. Sure, I've done it and I will do it because, well, frankly I've never met a man who doesn't like receiving oral sex, but I have never enjoyed it or found it appealing. I get mildly grossed out when I see other people do it. It just brings up bad memories of my ex, whose entire concept of foreplay was choking me with his dick.

Also, as a service top, I know my way around the toy chest, and I get really annoyed at seeing these female tops in the extreme images using a cane like it's a fucking tennis racket. I mean, seriously? That's not how you use a cane. It's shit like this that has newbie tops who get their info from porn doing really stupid stuff.

I enjoy the gifs, but I honestly don't know how the bottoms in those clips can deal with being whaled on that hard from the get go. I cringe when I see them getting pulverized by a paddle or barraged by a hair brush. I am so not hardcore enough for that.

I really need to stop trawling the bowels of Tumblr before I negotiate even more stuff with Peach than I already have this week.

If you're interested in following me on Tumblr, where I will post blog updates and repost the porn that will never appear on this blog, as well as whatever funny shit amuses me, you can find me there at rabbit-in-chains. I haven't prettified it yet, but there it is. 

No comments:

Post a Comment