Monday, September 14, 2015

Disciplinary Drives

I'm sure I've mentioned before that I have a punishment fetish. I think I might have said that spanking was my first kink, but while that's part of it, I think it's far more accurate to say that punishment was my first kink. My earliest fantasies always involved some form of punishment, usually spanking, but it took other forms as well.

From One Cab's Family
I remember being fascinated by the old cartoons that had spanking scenes. I have a rather vivid memory of when I was rather young, of an old cartoon about a family of cars called Tex Avery's "One Cab's Family" where a baby cab decides he wants to be a hot rod and his dad is not cool with that and flips up his trunk and spanks him. While watching this one day in my room, I decided to try and spank myself with a book. Mom walked on me of course. I'm not sure what she thought at the time. I doubt she even remembers it.

Sometimes I wonder if the old cartoonists were kinky, what with all the spanking scenes and spanking machines you see in the old cartoons as well as all the characters who dress in drag. I know they had a considerable effect on me. You won't see things like that nowadays. I wish they would still play those old shorts somewhere.

If that ain't the kinkiest shit I've ever seen, I don't know what is.

I was never punished by my parents as a child. I vaguely recall being grounded from the TV once when I was a youngling for coloring on the TV. Other than that, everything was just fantasy. Perhaps that had something to do with my penchant for discipline. Perhaps I was just always going to be this way, but the beatings are so much more fun when presented in a disciplinary context.

"Professor Tom"
Tom and Jerry
I'm not looking for actual punishment, I guess. I mean, I'm a masochist, but I didn't get the pain slut gene. Although, I love the idea of true discipline being a part of my relationship. I like the idea of consequences. It satisfies me on a deep psychological level. I expect it to be an element of any M/s dynamic I partake in. I would be disappointed and might possibly lose interest in the relationship if it weren't. 

On a purely kinky level, I just enjoy the headspace it creates. It pushes the fear, helplessness, and pain buttons for me. The disciplinary context just kind of adds that element of domination that might not otherwise be present in a pleasurable spanking.  It's even better when coupled with bondage, because then you can't get away.

I can't be that weird, because pretty much all of the spanking clips I see are disciplinary. I'm not the only one who gets off on it.

From "The Practical Pig"
In the process of discovering all the punishment porn on Tumblr and dealing with the postponement of my relocation, I've been discussing new avenues of play with Peach. I've brought up the idea of role play, although neither of us have really done it outside of literary and gaming avenues. Obviously, most of those are going to be disciplinary in nature, especially since sex is not on the table. We've also discussed incorporating new activities, like more bondage...or bondage, because we've never really done that either.

We have also decided to do more top side play. She's excited to do more breast play, and I think the lack of that so far was just a lack of communication on both our parts. I remember a scene we did where I flipped over to do some top play and I fully expected her to use floggers, but she went with clamps only. When I asked about it recently, she was like "I didn't know I could have used floggers!" Lesson learned. We ask now.

From "The Practical Pig."
What I'm most excited about is what Foxy has termed "downstairs flogging." Twat swatting, if you will. I used to engage in it with a former play partner, and it was one of the best things ever. Thinking about it or seeing images of it just revs my engine unlike anything else.

It is a bit of a journey, trying to navigate a platonic BDSM relationship while trying to feed certain needs. I think these new scene options will bring it somewhat closer to the "funishment" type scenario. I'm not sure if we'll ever completely get there, but if she's open to exploring, I suppose I am too. At the very least, I still enjoy talking about them, even if they don't happen.

I feel like I've always had this particular fetish. All of my fantasies have included punishment as an element from the very beginning. I have been drawn to stories, whatever form they might take, that includes it, from books, or movies, to cartoons. However, looking back now, that moment that sealed it was, of all things, watching a cartoon race car getting his ass beat and trying to spank myself with one of those musical storybooks.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked


  1. Sir and I have a punishment dynamic, and it does provide the strong boundaries I feel I need.
    I've always been fascinated by spanking, as play it feeds my maso side, as punishment it's abotu correction, without enjoyment, due to the mindset.

    Flip x

    1. I don't enjoy real correction either. That stuff sucks, but I've always been fond of role playing and the theater of it gets me. I find satisfaction in both, if not necessarily pleasure.

  2. I miss the old cartoons too, I really feel that we are doing a disservice by not showing them - but then again, it's because they're my loves growing up.

    You express your desire for punishment really well, seems as though you've put a lot of thought into it. I hope you get out of it what you want.

    1. That's the one thing about long distance relationships, you have a lot of time to navel gaze.

  3. Isn't it interesting that, the older we get, the more we realize that some of the things we like and prefer today, comes from way back when we were smaller? Even our kinks... a lot of mine can be traced right back to my youth.

    Rebel xox

    1. Shoot, just going through all of my weird quirks as a kid, I'm sure I had to be born kinky.

  4. "I like the idea of consequences. It satisfies me on a deep psychological level."

    Me, too. I like the structure, of having a known outcome. As I come to understand myself better (yay, age!), I find that I am less sure of myself when an outcome is ... not well defined.

    Wonderful post. Jane xxx

    1. I have OCD. I get very anxious when I don't have certain routines and procedures. I enjoy specific instructions and consequences. It sometimes annoys Daddy when I get on one my kicks and start asking hypotheticals about punishment, because he really doesn't have a set list of consequences for specific infractions.

  5. i really like how in depth this article is, and exploring your psyche...