Wednesday, May 6, 2015

I'm a Weirdo...

I am 24 years old. I have been active in the local BDSM community for 5 years. I have been in 2 romantic relationships and 3 power exchange dynamics.
Taken on one of my platonic outings
with a submissive male friend.
Went to dinner and a kink party.
Alas, not a date. 

I have never been on a date.

I have never been on a planned romantic outing with a man alone where you do date things and he pays for it ('cause I'm old-fashioned like that). I can't say that I've ever been out alone with a man I wasn't related to more than a handful of times in my life, and never in a romantic context.

I'm beginning to wonder how I have managed this. 

I must say, I've always been perplexed by the Hollywood concept of dating. You know, where you go on separate outings with multiple potential partners during the same time period until you figure out which one you like the most.

I mean, who has that many options? I've never really had multiple people express serious interest in me at the same time. Hell, I've been in relationships with the only men who have. Never managed that date thing, though.

I was with my ex for a little over a year, the latter seven months in name only. We only went out alone once. I don't count that because Kitty was supposed to join us for a movie and she bailed, so we ended up at the theater alone.

Pre-kink party dinner with Foxy.
I mean, I'm sure people count staying in and such "dates." But, before those count, you have to have been on an actual, real, stereotypical date, right?

What do you do on a date, anyway? I have this nebulous concept that includes dinner. I like food. A movie sounds dumb though because you can't talk. Perhaps my imagination is stunted because I live in a town of 20,000 people that closes at 10 pm and I've only been to a bar like 3 times ever.

I've long imagined my first meeting with Daddy and going on my first real date. Granted, my nebula has only really expanded to include gobs of kinky sex with my dinner. He doesn't dance. Not that I know of any dance clubs around here. Although, personally, I think dancing would be a fun date. Perhaps, I'm simply limited because I think of dates as night things. 

I've been disappointing Om Nom
on our Cut the Rope 2 dates...
I had originally planned to write up the fantasy of that first date that I've been building up in my head for the last year to post for you, but recent events have left me wondering if I'll ever even see that day.

Which is even more depressing than the fact that I've somehow missed out on one of the integral experiences of post-pubescence.

What can I say but let that freak flag fly?

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked


  1. I think there are a lot more like you (and me) - men and women who have actually never dated. I really cannot recall any dates I've had, not even with Master T, as we met each other in a totally different way. Others I had relationships with were either met when I went out with girl friends or at work. No dates. So no, I don't think you're a weirdo, not at all :)

    Rebel xox

    1. I met both of mine online. My first in person meeting with my ex happened in my dorm room and my roommate was there for a little while. Then she left and...dirty stuff happened.

  2. Dating, is spending 'special' time with a (potential) significant other. It doesn't require going out. A few of my first took place in dorm rooms actually.

    I have had a lot of dates, but not a lot of 'stereotypical hollywood-approved' dates. Dating, to a certain extent, is indeed relative. That does not make you a weirdo at all.

    1. I would think that, at least, I feel it should be, that you're alone together for it to count. With my ex, we both lived with our parents, and so we were almost never truly alone. Perhaps, that's why nothing felt like a date, I suppose.

  3. When I was in high school we did a lot of group dating. That was, we went out as a large group of friends and the guy/gal you were "into" happened to be in that group too. Then we might watch a movie and hold hands or something. I also went on some regular dates, out to dinner. I never dated more that one person at a time, well, until now. I only dated one guy before my Master, and that was only a month.

  4. I think like so many things, dates are what YOU want them to be... Yes, there is a traditional idea of a date, dinner, movies, sightseeing, but for us, dates can be all sorts of things, including a bath together.