Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Here Thar Be Spankos

I recently purchased a subscription of Kindle Unlimited to make my spankophile erotica habit a little less hard on my pocketbook. I typically have a hard time finding kink lit I like. One, because I've never been sure where to find it. Two, because BDSM smut tends to involve a lot of fetishes that I have no real interest in at all. Namely, same sex encounters and multiple partner stuff.

I was strangely excited when a list of DD (Domestic Discipline) posted on ADDS popped up in my twitter feed. I'm not sure why it hadn't occurred to me before to look up DD romance. I have a pretty big discipline fetish, not to mention being a spankophile. I also personally engage in monogamous M/f dynamics. DD romance is perfect smut for me.

Except "bottom" is starting to sound really damned stupid in my head. Spanko fiction really likes to employ this word over options like rump, backside, butt...or, you know, ass. I began to wonder at the idea of a bunch of grown ass women and men using the word bottom that much. I mean, it made sense in the Victorian-themed Disciplining the Duchess by Annabel Joseph. But in the Rod and Cane Society series, a bunch of contemporary women ranging in age from 23 to 45, the word bottom looks funny. Especially in sex scenes that use terms like pussy, cunt, cock, precum, and creaming.

Did I mention I have some linguistic hangups about my sex terminology? Lots of them, but I suppose me waxing rhetoric about imagery and emotion conjured by words just by their sound is probably a post for another time, if anyone is even interested in me nerding out on language in the first place.

Something I noticed in the various stories I read, is that most of the authors I read have a particular fascination for paddles and canes. I'm a belt whore myself, but only one of the DD stories, Rod and Cane 4 (Which doesn't even really count as book at 58 pages), used a belt. Two of the stories included figging, which terrifies the shit out of me.

I really enjoyed the Rod and Cane Society stories, despite how some of the sex scenes made me cringe because of the wording, but that's a matter of personal taste. They get a bit preachy about the benefits of DD in a marriage. It got to where I kept thinking "Do people actually think that hard about it all the damn time?" It sounds exhausting to be that navel-gazey. I also became skeptical of all these tall, buff alpha males in their 30s and their slender, large-breasted submissive ladies in heels and thongs.

I mean, I like tall buff alpha males in their 30s, but where's the love for the petite, squishy lady with a rather modest set of tatas and a tendency to be barefoot? I also don't own a thong. Butt floss just sounds uncomfy and I don't have the right kind of ass for it. Besides, I resent being charged the same amount or more for 1/6th of the fabric that goes into real panties.

'Sides, I got a big butt. Gimme a big lady DD book, mmkay?

You know, one that's not a "Billionaire Romance," because pretty much all the BBW BDSM books I've seen on Kindle have the word Billionaire in it.

Quit 50 Shadesing everything, kay?


Dat's a thing. Dunno why. But it is.

Any of you lovely folks got any recommendations for spanking smut? I'm always looking for new shit to read at work when I'm bored.

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