Tuesday, March 24, 2015

I'm Frustrated

I'm frustrated and PMS'ing and annoyed with him. I pick up my phone to send a text, stare at it, and inevitably put it down without typing anything. I'm annoyed that I have a legitimate gripe, but I can't say anything without feeling like I'm coming across like a bitch.

I know he's injured and overworked. And I can't say anything because that's the answer I get. I know that.


I consider myself fairly low maintenance. I don't ask for a whole hell of a lot.

For fuck's sake, a good night text takes a whopping 5 seconds to send.

I've sent him 3 texts today. One of which was the ever articulate:


So, I continue to stare at the phone, incapable of thinking of a thing to say. No idea what I'm gonna do if he calls.

The face of mild disappointment.

Sunday, March 15, 2015

Lady Fapping: The Dangers of Ass Spelunking

I have been contemplating a post about female masturbation for a little while now, although I must admit I had only previously imagined a singular post about how much effort it takes to fap as a chick. After a recent mishap with a new toy and realizing just how many sex toys I've actually acquired at this point, I figured I'd turn this into a series. So, here be the first installment of Lady Fapping, heavily inspired by my recent "oh, shit!" moment.

Anal sex was one of the first sexual acts I did. In fact, that and blow jobs comprised nearly all of the sexual contact I had in my first relationship. Strangely enough, I didn't buy any real sex toys until several months after that relationship ended.

My first toy was this little guy:

From TWMT: The Lone Warrior

A gift from my play partners at the time, I think it was bought more as a joke. They told me they bought the tiniest dildo they could find. Wholly unsatisfactory as a vaginal item. Worked for the clit okay. It ate watch batteries like a mother fucker though and no longer vibrates as far as I know. I've never tried to put new batteries in it in the last few years. But this little guy became the first intrepid ass spelunker of my collection.

Despite the fact that my ex didn't seem to know that lube was a thing, I've always enjoyed anal stimulation with toys of certain sizes. I found that this simple addition to enhance things quite a bit. Alas, combined with clitoral action, climax is disappointingly swift and I have no time to fantasize about all my weird sex slave harems.

When I'm playing with a vibe and can't quite get off, I think about my various plugs, but typically I'm too lazy to go bother.

This is my collection of plugs ranging in thickness. The two at the bottom are almost never used. The beige one is 1.5" thick at it's thickest point and the pink one, while buzzy is a rather intimidating 1.75" thick. I've just basically determined I can't use them on my own because they are physically difficult to actually get in. I honestly have no idea how I'm going to deal with his actual penis.

Quickly becoming my favorite is my latest acquisition; this adorable jelly plug I picked up at a Spencer's.

I saw it and instantly wanted it. I have to say, I absolutely hate the plugs with a round, flared base. Useful? Perhaps, but extremely uncomfortable in the long term if you are remotely squishy. I liked the fact that this thing had a ring instead.

I loved it.

Right up until the moment I lost the little fucker.

You know? They really shouldn't make the ring bit squishy. A lot of thoughts go through your mind when part of you eats a toy.

Holy shit, will I ever get it back? 
Why is the ring squishy???
I don't want to have to go to the hospital. 
I definitely don't want to explain this to my doctor.
Oh no, my doctor's nurse is my mother's best friend. This is not good.

Needless to say, I recovered it, although not without some mental trauma due to a bit of bleeding.  But, frugal and stubborn creature that I am, I have not wasted $13 on a toy I can't use. I happen to have a little wireless bullet I got as a freebie when I ordered one of my various toys from Adam&Eve that fits neatly into the ring.

Now, not only won't it get lost, it vibrates too!

Win-win, I'd say.

Seriously, lady fapping is way too damn much work, and apparently dangerous too. Maybe I should have Daddy read these before he decides to assign mandatory toy time with all the frills (something that has occurred in the past and was immensely frustrating). Masturbating is exhausting.

Just gimme my wand.

-eyeballs the bag of sex toys on the edge of the bed-

This thing came with a kit I bought. I haven't drummed up
the balls to try it out yet. Is not very bendy. 

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Kink of the Week: A Lifetime Leather Love Affair

I think one of my earliest fetishes was punishment, spanking in particular. I was never punished as a child, but I remember trolling the school library for books with spanking scenes in them. The historical ones were the most likely culprits. I remember borrowing Time for Andrew: A Ghost Story multiple times because of the two spanking scenes in it. Belt spanking scenes, to be exact.

While I was never hit with one as a kid (my brother got all the ass bustings), I've always had a distinct fascination with belts. I've never been much satisfied with spanking on its own. I very much prefer that it be couched with in the context of punishment, which is why I enjoy brat play so much. I like to think there's a reason behind the act, a reason to be afraid, something to give you that tickle in the belly that tends to travel to other places.

The two most compelling images that bring such a feeling to mind is otk spanking and belt spanking. I'm not sure why. There are a plethora of implements used for that kind of thing. Paddles are popular, but they don't create quite the same feeling for me as those two. I mean, gah, just the thought of Daddy drawing his belt just gives me all sorts of squishy feelings. The image is a damn powerful one and the threat of it is delicious.

I think part of it is the element of inherent power in it. The entirety of the act is coming from him. There's none of that "go cut me a switch" or "go get me the paddle" like in many punishment scenarios. Well, he could tell me to go get the belt, but this is my fantasy so we're going to pretend that doesn't happen. :P

I've also always been a fan of authoritarian relationships. I have gravitated toward, or somehow ended up with daddy-type doms. Well, Daddy is more of a daddy type dom. My first dom just liked to be called Daddy. I don't consider myself a little or particularly a babygirl, I'm a pet, but there's something about the paternal-type role that speaks to me. If you ever got a hold of my early fiction from my tween years and up, this becomes painfully obvious. Mother figures were largely absent in those pieces, and fathers were often strict disciplinarians. My actual father is rather laid-back creature with an almost nonexistent temper and the patience of Job, so who knows where I picked up that particular quirk?

Belts have surprisingly become my favorite toy despite the fact that I really haven't had a great deal of experience with it. I was never punished with one as a child. My first dom didn't play with me much, but the belt was one of the first things we did mess with. I've never had a play partner use a belt on me, and Daddy and I haven't been able to play in the flesh yet, so I really haven't felt it a lot.

And yet...

It's the implement I fantasize the most about. It's the one thing I can't walk past in a store without thinking dirty thoughts. It's the epitome of corporal punishment to me.

Except, I like belts and hate paddles, so which one do you think he's gonna use for actual punishment?