Monday, February 16, 2015

On Ur Kneez, Bitch: My Perspective on Kneeling

Kneeling. A lot of emphasis is placed on the act of kneeling, both online and in the local community, or, at least, my local community. It is the epitome of submissive acts. It's the position from which all submissive feelings flow. It is now apparently the ultimate band aid for a relationship? Have problems communicating? Make the s-type kneel first.

I dun get it.

I mean, I get why people do it and like it. When I first got into kink, I bought into it too. I thought kneeling was super important. Then, I discovered something.

Kneeling fucking hurts.

I am a woman who is endowed with a generous amount of squish. I cannot maintain a resting kneel position for more than a minute or so without it becoming so uncomfortable it's distracting. That has most certainly added to the fact that I have never attached any sort of emotional significance to kneeling.

It really does nothing for me. It doesn't put me in a submissive mindset. With a partner, I don't really float in and out of my role, so there's no real need for a reset button. I can compartmentalize a lot of things, but that's not a part of me I've shoved into a separate box.

My ex never really required kneeling unless he wanted oral sex. Daddy doesn't seem overly interested in kneeling, but he has only dated women roughly my size, so I think he understands the physical limitations of that kind of body. Of course, he knows that I have problems with it, as I have mentioned it before.

I was in a platonic D/s dynamic for about 6 months with a couple of play partners between my two ownership relationships. At a certain point in that dynamic, they gave me a temporary collar, as the dynamic was always known to be a temporary arrangement. They had me kneel when giving it to me, and said some stuff. I guess you would call it a sort of collaring ceremony. I feel bad about this but I found the position so uncomfortable, I couldn't even concentrate on what they were saying. There was no submissiveness in my brain at all. All I could think of was "please stop talking so I can move. I think my feet are about to fall off and die."

I can deal with the kneel where you're up off your calves, but that's more of a utilitarian position for me. I use it during dance, exercise, topping, or oral. But I can't manage a resting kneel at all. It hurts. I'd much rather lay in your lap and curl up around you like a cat. 

Yeah, I'm a weirdo and I flout a lot of the stereotypical kinky traditions, but, eh, I've never been particularly normal. It's also another reason why I'd be a shitty kajira. :D

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