Sunday, May 25, 2014

A Wild Service Top Appeared!

When I first started participating in my local BDSM community, I was already with a dom. He really had no interest in attending parties with me, or participating in any way. He also didn't want me bottoming at parties (despite rarely ever wanting to top me himself), so there was little for me to do besides sit around and watch. Eventually, I made the arrangement with him that I could top at parties.

I can't really say than anyone in particular taught me the skill. I've always been a fairly quick learner and very visual when it comes to learning. I can generally figure something out by watching. I had a play experience prior to being with my ex with a couple of talented floggers, so I had the tactile experience as well. The way I learned to top was simply watching what others did and combining it with what I enjoyed as a bottom. I took to service topping other female subs at parties and found I was a fair hand at flogging.

My favorite floggers in action. My mini cats. 

I am admittedly a bit limited as a service top. My ex preferred that I only top women, and Daddy doesn't let me play with men in any capacity either. Although, I did top a few guys in between the two relationships. I have an overall preference for sensation and impact play and generally combine the two within a single scene. However, for those that seek a more sexual style of play, I am not a good option for, because I prefer to keep my play as non-sexual as possible. I kind of look at it as a rather elaborate alternative massage. I typically concentrate on the back. I rarely ever do any sort of breast play. I have  a few times in the past, but not while in a relationship. I also don't like to overstep my bounds if the s-type belongs to someone.

I also tend to be less comfortable when topping pain sluts because I'm not a sadist. I am more hesitant to go hard because of my own preferences, so I tend to check in with bottom if I feel like I'm going a little hard for my tastes to make sure they're good with it. My primary play partner is a bit of a pain slut, but, like me, she tends to be a bit quiet under the lash so I don't always get a lot of feedback. One of the guys I topped was a very heavy bottom, and one time I had to quit because I was using his PVC flogger and I ended up breaking the skin. He was a little sad I stopped, but I don't do blood.

Ice guitar. 

One thing I always like to incorporate when I top is music. I find having a rhythm to follow makes it more interesting and I always tend to flog to the beat. It feels like a kind of dance to me and I often move around to the music and change things up with each section. Music also helps the bottom focus and helps both me and the bottom ignore the other people in the room.

Making a playlist can also help you time things. I made a playlist for the scene I did last night and when I got to the last song, I was done. I tried to arrange the music in a way where it started off a bit slower and built into the heaver play and eased back down. It's a good way to set the mood with little effort.

This is the play list I used last night.

Snow White Queen - Evanescence
Down With the Sickness - Disturbed
Bodies - Drowning Pool
Indestructible - Disturbed
Voodoo - Godsmack

I did have two more songs on the play list, but I skipped over them because my big flogger is too heavy for me and my arm was tiring out. Which is something else I recommend any top think about. The flogger has to match the top. I need shorter lighter floggers, because I'm a small person (vertically anyway) and my upper body strength isn't particularly impressive. But, in my defense, I bought my toys with their being used on me in mind, and not necessarily using them on others.

My collection of toys. I left out a few bondage
pieces, but these are all the impact and
sensation pieces are there. 

My favorite floggers are my two mini cat-o-nines. I bought one at the state fair, believe it or not, for a whopping $3. My play partner bought the second one, and later gave it to me, since I was the only one who used it anyway, and generally on her. They weigh almost nothing, so I find it easy to Florentine with them. I can't say if I can do it with longer or heavier floggers, because I've never had a pair of matched floggers of a size that matched me. I would like to try if I could get my hands on another pair of twins.

I like to pepper in some sensation play between impact sections. I rub the bottom's back, and often use my nails to either tickle or scratch, depending on the sensitivity of their skin. I have a small leather paddle with a furred side I'll rub their back down with. Those nifty little microfiber car wash mits also work good for rub downs. As a painter, I like to brush over my hands with my softer-bristled paintbrushes, so I incorporated a large paintbrush into my toy bag.

Glass pebbles are also great. I love smooth textures, and they are perfect for temperature play as well. And, boy, are they cheap. I also use a pair of shooter marbles for massage.

These are my glass pebbles. Re-purposed after I stopped
 keeping fish. Properly sanitized, of course. 

Now, service topping for me was a skill I cultivated to give me something to do at parties. It's not something I have any particular need for. I'm not a sadist and I'm not a dominant. Because of this, I do not consider myself a switch. I do what I do as a service to the bottom I'm playing with, so they technically have run of the show. I mostly do my thing, but if they want something specific, I'll do that, or I will alter what I'm doing if the bottom asks. That means it's a totally different experience than if your top is a sadist, a dominant, or both. As I mentioned earlier, for me, it's like being a specialty masseuse.

Bamboo back scratcher with massage wheels. 

I have never topped my own master, and it's not something I have any interest in, but I would do it if asked. I have taught others how to service top, who then topped their dominants, but it's not something I've done myself. I mostly top other submissives, or sometimes switches.

While it's not something that I personally derive much pleasure from, I do gain a lot of satisfaction from having the skill and the ability to teach it to newer people. I've never been much of a teacher of anything, but for some reason I'm decent at teaching someone how to flog.

Although, admittedly, I've found other submissives a bit more receptive to the instruction than dominants. Of course, I don't know if that's because the dominants were more stubborn, or they had problems learning from an s-type, or if they were all just big show offs that forgot everything I said once they got an audience.

The world may never know. :P

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