Saturday, March 15, 2014

Primal Submission: From the Prey Perspective

As I have mentioned before, or elsewhere, perhaps on the About Rabbit page of this blog, I identify as a primal. I am a member of the main primal group on FetLife, but I don’t typically participate a lot in discussions for much the same reason I’m not in a lot of pet groups. Most primals are animal identified, as are most pet groups.

This is from the description of Primal Play – The Animal Within (see, it’s in the title too!):
“A list of Primal Kinks usually include, but are not limited to: Wolf play, Biting, Pursuit Takedown and Capture, Scratching, Blood, Leaving Bitemarks, Primal Play, Animalistic Sex, Cuddling, and so on. It doesn't matter if you self-identify as a Lycanthrope, Atavist, Therian, Barbarian, Otherkin, Caveman, Cat Girl, Feral, Furry, Were-creature, Klingon, or just plain Primal...if you enjoy feeling alive and the instincts that drive your inner nature, you are welcome here.”
So, for me, I have the following primal type fetishes:
  • Biting
  • Pursuit, Takedown, and Capture
  • Scratching
  • Cuddling 
  • Animalistic Sex
  • Force play (including rape play)
  • Wrestling

Most of those fall under the list in that group description. Now, I honestly don’t know what a lot of those labels listed above are, such as Therian, Atavist, or Otherkin. Not my kink. I guess if I had to pick one, I’d say I identify most with the barbarian type. The most vivid image of the kind of primal I jive with is probably the Dothraki depicted in the tv series Game of Thrones.

Yeah, yeah, if I don’t identify with animals, then what’s with the Rabbit thing? Well, I didn’t pick that. Daddy has a habit of giving his pets pet names. Mine happened to be Rabbit. I actually don’t remember when he started calling me that, or why exactly, other than my abject skittishness. I have made that my sort of symbol, by choosing a triskele made of rabbits, but I still feel I am a human primal and a human pet.

My rabbit trisekelion pendant.

However, in keeping with the rabbit thing, I do identify as more of a prey type. My fight or flight response is heavily skewed toward flight, although enough pain can trigger my fight response. I prefer having a large disparity in physical strength between my master and I.

In the last couple days, I’ve encountered a few views on primals that I haven’t seen before. However, admittedly, I don’t know a lot of people who ID as primal or are familiar with the concept.

A thread was started in the primal group where the OP stated this:
“I get told, on an alarmingly frequent basis, that a ‘primal submissive’ is just a bad sub, or secretly topping from the bottom, or a switch.” 
I found this odd to say the least, because I have never gotten that reaction to that label. That’s more something I hear in response to brat label, but, typically, more people respond to the brat label than they do the primal one.

In response, a male primal type stated this:
“I would put forth that in my experience a primal sub will challenge a/their dom. The dom needs to be able to show that they are dominant in an primal or animalistic way. In other words the dom must make the sub submit. Primal submission must be earned, it is almost a trial by combat.”
Now, he did say “my experience,” because putting my in front of something is the key to making everything you say cool beans, I guess. But I seriously disagree with this, as did others. I don’t challenge my owner’s authority. That’s just bad survival instincts there. My owner can curl more than I weigh, and I’m no small burden. He needed the right ability, personality, and energy to make me want to submit, but submission is not something I feel needs to be pulled out of me. It is a natural reaction to him. If it had to be forced out of me, I wouldn't feel like our energy was well-matched.

And, of course, because some of us said we don’t challenge our d-types, this was said:
“Saying you have a primal side, and yet I would never challenge my Dominant if they do not wish it seems to me to be contradictory to being in a Primal relationship.”
I don't think so. Hierarchy can be a very rigid thing for a primal. I mean, wolf packs, for instance. A loooot of primals identify with wolves. My owner feels a connection with the wolf as well, and packs are very hierarchical. Sure, challenges do happen, but an Omega isn’t going to challenge the Alpha.

The wolf triskelion I bought for Daddy. 

Personally, I'm very aware of my partner's strength. Challenging his authority would be incredibly stupid. It would also make him rather grumpy. I like rough play and violent interaction, but I am also quite aware that I am not high enough on this particular food chain to go toe to toe with my owner in that realm. I'm not dominant. He's in charge. I know that. He knows that. A physical challenge can be nothing more than play for me. Challenging his authority just wouldn't work.

Now, that doesn't necessarily mean I'm docile all the time, but I don't think a primal relationship is always predicated on a constant battle for dominance.

Primal is a label that is as wide and varied as any other role in BDSM, kink, whatever. There are numerous types and relationships that can all be primal without fitting into one mold. And primal submission, although it seems kind of antithetical if you haven’t really looked at all the possibilities, is still a thing. I can be wild and rough and still be obedient. I can enjoy the thrill of the basic instincts without wanting to upset the balance of power. Primal is not a power struggle for me. It’s embracing the sensations, the instincts, and natural reactions to people and the energy they radiate. And sometimes, that natural instinct is to submit.

We can’t all be alphas.

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