Friday, September 22, 2017

e[Lust] #98

Steamy bedtime Elust98 header
Photo courtesy of Steamy Bedtime

Welcome to Elust 98-

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you're looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it'll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #99 Start with the rules, come back October 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!


~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Black and white

Underdressed

I Talk Sex - Female Sexuality and Education

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

You Don't Know What Love Is

Writing for Free vs. Getting Paid

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Ropes, Silk, & an Egg



*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Erotic Non-Fiction


Fly Me To The Moon
WANTING - all the wanting
Hi, I'm _____________, and I'm an addict.
Naked Eyes

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish


A Slave's Perspective
Feeling the breeze
Almost Social

Erotic Fiction


flee
Rites of Passage ~ Part 1
Grasp
Maddie in the headmaster's bath

Poetry


-03.09.17_22:00-

Body Talk and Sexual Health


In the Navel

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships


Polyamorous Relationships
Light my fire







Elust 88

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Sexy Skepticism: Do I Feel Sexy?

What do you do when you no longer feel sexy?

That was the question posited in a recent conversation in which I was a participant. I couldn't even begin to answer it. I don't know what you do when you no longer feel sexy. I can't say that I've ever felt sexy, actually.

I have been...shall we say "fluffy" for pretty much my entire life. I've never been what one would consider conventionally attractive. I've got small boobs, a big belly, a big ass, and acne. I have crooked teeth, and glasses.

I don't have the most self-esteem in the world, obviously. I've never really been shy about that.

I can craft a sexy image, with the right angle, crop, and edit. I'm getting better at that every day and I'm really proud of my work. Those pictures can be sexy, but after I finish working on them, I feel largely detached from the source. Once a piece is complete, it no longer feels like a picture of me.

I occasionally feel pretty, when I get dressed up, or I have a good hair day, but I can't say any of those feelings ever include the idea of "sexy."

Actually, I'm always mildly surprised when a man finds me attractive. I get those messages online of "you're hot" that every woman inevitably gets, but I'm always a bit skeptical. My brain is always questioning the truth of such a statement.

Really? You find me attractive? But I'm fat. I'm shaped like a potato. I have small boobs. Most of the time I probably look like I don't even have boobs. Really? You find my frumpy ass attractive? You might change your mind if you saw the baggy clothes I wear to work.

I've always found my partners sexy. Mesmerizing creatures I could stare at all day. At the same time, I always felt like they were more attractive than me, and part of me was always like "hey, this really hot person finds me attractive. Me? Can you believe it?"

There are a lot of things I think are appealing about me, but none of them are really physical. I like to think I'm intelligent. I do believe I'm rather awesome at writing fiction. I'm a passable dancer. I think I do pretty well for someone who is self-taught, but I could certainly be a lot better.

I often feel sexual, but do I feel sexy? No. Not really.

Saturday, September 16, 2017

Warrior Princess



This is my best friend, Evryn, who was gracious enough to model for me a bit during my visit a few weeks ago, as well as be the photographer for my last two Sinful Sunday entries. She is also the model for the header image featured in Star Talker: Part 12: Conditions. She had recently dyed her hair white, and I wanted to take advantage of her elfin aesthetic. It also helps that she and her husband have some interesting weapons such as the sabotage spear pictured above and a kickass black gladius, both labeled for "home defense." I really like the way this turned out.


Sinful Sunday

Star Talker: Part 14: A Bit of a Shock


I jerked away from him, turning my back. Rha'han laughed and slapped my ass sharply with his two right hands. I yelped at the sting and swung back around, only to get another twist of my nipples. I started cursing in Arabic and kicked my foot out toward his stomach. He stepped out of range and calmly caught my ankle up in a vice grip, preventing me from putting it down. He lifted a single brow and delivered a hard smack the soft flesh of my inner thigh. My knee almost buckled at the sudden, surprisingly intense pain. I blinked, unable to produce a noise.  A large red hand print was slowly forming on my skin.

"Are you finished?" he said, affecting a bored tone.

I let out the breath I'd been holding. "Fuck you."

My free leg was swept from under me. He hooked his lower arms under my knees and moved between them, his rigid cock flush against the lips of my sex. He ground against me, sending jolts of pleasure through the cluster of nerves there. He dropped my legs suddenly, stepping away as I jerked against the bands on my wrist and scrambled to regain my feet.

"You haven't earned that yet. We'll get there though." He strode past me toward one of the cabinets that lined the wall near the armoire. I found myself staring at his ass again, muscles rippling again beneath the gold-dusted skin.

He turned around, carrying a number of implements, some I recognized, others I didn't. Calmly, silently, he laid them out on the top of a small book case up against the wall. beside me. My gaze drifted down to the books there. A series of flight manuals for various models of ships, volumes on Lo'Rahni military history, and oddly enough, three books on artistic technique. The first specialized in mixed media work, the second was on the depiction of light and shadow, and the last covered paint mixing and the creation of custom pigments. I eyed the black hole painting above the bed and looked back at Rha'han curiously.

"So," he said, bringing me back to the moment at hand, "we have several options here. You can move if you like, but bear in mind that the blows will land anyway. That's something you might want to consider before you attempt to dodge them."

Sitting on the case was a thin, but wide paddle crafted of some sort of translucent polycarbonate material. I had memories them from my childhood, as flammable items were prohibited on the observatory. A simple leather belt say next to it. The design on the buckle indicated that it was military issue. There was a long black strip lying there as well that I didn't recognize. It had a dark grey handle with a small switch. The strip was about five centimeters wide and twenty-five centimeters long.

"What is that?" I said.

He picked up the strip. "This is used mostly to discipline slaves, but it's also useful for when firmer discipline is required for mates." He flipped the switch, and a faint hum filled the air. "I'm only going to use it once right now, just so you have an idea of what it means." He stood to the side of me and held my wrists together with one hand and wrapped the other arm around my waist to hold me in place, then pressed the strip to the fleshy part of my ass for a full three seconds.

My mind blanked. It was like a thousand static shocks sparking at once, except they seemed to last an eternity. My nerves felt like they were burning, my skin felt like it was buzzing. I slumped in the chains, but Rha'han held me up. Somewhere in the back of my brain, I registered that the hum had stopped. We stayed like that for several moments, the silence slowly receding as I gradually became aware of his steady breathing in contrast to my heavy panting and my rapid heartbeat pounding in my ears.

"Son of a bitch!" I said breathlessly, the words quiet even to my own ears.

He tossed the evil thing away. "That's a shock wand. I trust you'll remember it."

I continued muttering in Arabic, heaping curse upon curse on his head. He let me go and stood back. I stomped my feet a little, frustrated that I couldn't rub out the residual stinging buzz in my skin.  I froze as Rha'han picked up the translucent paddle. He laid it gently against my hip and rubbed the smooth surface against my skin. I looked down at it. A warm hand glided up my chest to wrap itself gently, but firmly around my throat. He turned my head to look up at him.

"Do you know why I like this implement?" he said, holding it up before me. I opened my mouth to speak, only to receive a pointed squeeze of my throat. "It's wonderfully see-through. I can see the result of every impact. I can see the color bloom on your skin. It really is a beautiful tool."

He pinned me with those golden, unblinking eyes as he spoke. "In the handful of hours you've been in my possession, you've been defiant, flippant, foul-mouthed, and utterly unrepentant. And where has that gotten you?" He tapped the chains with the paddle. I gave it a sidelong glance, unable to move my head. Another hand slithered down over my belly to bury thick fingers into my sex. I gasped. He chuckled softly. "Or is this where you wanted to end up all along?"



Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

I Suck at Initiating Relationships

This is a subject I've been thinking about a lot lately, especially since getting involved with a local kink social group geared towards meeting people for potential private play. I've always been somewhat socially stunted. I've never been particularly good at initiating friendships. People usually approach me first. I think I just sort of lucked into friends in school, and then those friends would sort of make other friends for me. Or I'd be adopted into the tribe and their friends became my friends by way of proximity.

So, being single, I find myself at a bit of a loss when it comes to play partners. I don't quite know how to initiate that sort of thing, particularly with men. I've been looking at my past encounters, and most of my play partners have been women, and a friendship was always cultivated first. I can only really recall three men I've bottomed for, two of which were men I was in or had been in relationships with, and the other is a man I've been friends with for over twenty years. I've never done pickup play with a man.

It's funny that this is the case, since I generally prefer masculine energies in play. But, I guess it was trained into me. My first two relationships, my dominants were big proponents of the "one penis policy," and that included play. So, for about four years, I was not allowed to engage in play with men of any kind, top or bottom. As a result, I don't really know how to approach a man for platonic play, because, well, I've never really done it.

I've had several female play partners, all nons-sexual, of course. I think that's also part of my mental road block when it comes to approaching men for play. I know that when I play with a woman, that there is no chance of things becoming sexual. I'm less certain about that when it comes to men. I guess I also feel like that many men won't want to play without sexual elements, if not specifically sex. Logically, I know that a lot of men are probably happy to play platonically, but being with men who considered any play to be sexual kind of skewed my perspective, I guess. I would say the fear of being pressured into sexual contact makes me hesitate with approaching single men for play, but I honestly don't know many single men right now, so that's not really an issue.

But, I also have this weird fear that I'm inconveniencing people. Because I don't want to inconvenience anyone, I just generally avoid broaching the subject at all. Particularly with poly people, especially ones that I haven't really developed a close relationship with. I don't really know how to navigate poly waters. It feels like the rules are different. They may be and they may not, I don't really know. And the fact that I am dealing with uncharted waters only adds to that hesitation.

I mean, I'm obviously a big ball of neuroses. I've never hid that fact. I'm obsessive compulsive. I have a pretty severe, although I would wager moderately high functioning social anxiety, and I over-analyze everything to death. As I've said many times before, I can talk myself out of anything.

I'm also kind of oblivious as fuck when it comes to human interaction or flirting, so I need a more direct approach from people sometimes.